I voted for Epic Rap Battles of History to win Artist of the Year at the...

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Almost 1 year...

And I'm the smallest I've been since I hit high school.. It's amazing what has happened in the last year. I'm so blessed to be where I am now. I'm a stay at home, homeschooling, helping the hubby with his business mom. I couldn't ask for anything better.

So I'm not posting my measurements or weight, I will wait for 2 weeks when I hit my 1 year mark to actually do that. This post is just a little ramble.

I've decided that my closet needs a major over haul. I've pretty much hit a major stopping point with my weight loss. I would really like to lose another 40-50 lbs, but it's gonna take a lot of work on my part, and I'm ready to do that. It's just gonna take a while. So I figure since I'm at a good point now, my closet needs a major overhaul. It's mostly jeans and t-shirts, or jean shorts. I have a few cute shirts and stuff, but not much. I think I would feel better on a daily basis if I had more to work with in my wardrobe. I want to start fixing myself up so to speak. It's gonna be a little bit of a process because I only have so much money I can spend each month on extra stuff. But what I need is someone with good fashion taste to go shopping with me. I've never cared much about my clothes, because when I weighed 300+ lbs, I just picked clothes that fit. I didn't care if they flattered, or looked terrible. I just needed clothes that fit. Well, now that I'm much smaller, I can actually care about my look. And it's not just for me. It's for my husband too. He told me the other day, he likes it when I fix myself up. So, that's going to be my goal, is to put more effort into my appearance. And again, I basically need a personal shopper to go with me and help me! haha I'm willing to be someone's barbie doll! I just need help!! hehe Anyone care to take this venture on with me???

Well I guess that's about it for now! See ya in 2 weeks with my one year update!!

6 months gone by...

So here today, I am exactly 6 months post op. And tomorrow, my mom starts her amazing journey. I love you mom and am praying for you! As of my scale this morning, I am down exactly 95 lbs. yes that is not a typo I really said 95 lbs!! Everything has gone amazingly well. And, just as I was told pre-surgery, my emotions are going wild. I look at myself in the mirror, and sometimes wonder who it is looking back at me. I don't recognize myself any more. Other times I look at myself, and I still see the same fat girl that was there before surgery. I know I'm wearing smaller clothes. But still those days come, and those are the days I'm the hardest on myself. I know I shouldn't be, because I have come a long way from 6 months ago. I've gone from a 3x/4x shirt to an xl almost a large. I've gone from a 24/26 pants to 14/16 pants. I know this is an incredible feat, but I still have feelings that I'm still that same fat girl. I know people around me have noticed the change in me. I get compliments all the time on how good I look. People I haven't seen in a while don't recognize me most times right at first. It takes them a few moments to realize it's me they are talking to.  I've also noticed more positive attention from strangers. I get flirted with more then I use to. That is taking some getting use to. People have always been nice, but this is a different feeling for me. And having these feelings have brought up some other feelings I've had before. Thoughts on fat discrimination. I'd never thought I'd been discriminated against for being fat, until I became thinner, and saw the difference in the way people treat me.

Fat discrimination is out there. It's a very real thing. People judge you based on the way you look. If you are fat, they assume you don't take care of yourself, you don't care, and that you are lazy. Coming from being as big as I was before, I notice this more now that I'm thinner. It's sad that we there are laws against discrimination about gender, sexual orientation, race and age, but nothing about weight. Most people who are overweight, know they are. Some don't care, but I bet if you sat down and talk to those people, you would find most of them do care what they look like, maybe they just haven't found the right solution, or they don't have the option of surgery, like myself. I was to the point where I hated myself. And because I hated myself, I thought others hated me too. How could I, this fat, short, unattractive person be lovable to anyone. I even questioned myself if my husband really loved me. I never wanted to admit these things before because I thought I was ok with being fat. I wasn't ok. I just learned to hide it from everyone. If you asked anyone that knows me, they would tell you at 300 lbs, I was a happy person. I wasn't happy. I was miserable. I just learned to push my feelings about myself deep down. Now that I don't have the weight to hide behind any more, these feelings are starting to resurface, and the only way to work through them, is to admit them.

On my good days I love myself, I'm happy where I am. I've come a long way. But, on my bad days, I still question if I'm good enough...I still question if my husband loves me. I still question if I'm good enough for him. I know these are crazy questions because I'm the smallest I've ever been since we've been together.  I'm learning to love myself again. It's a very long process, not something that I can make happen over night. I think I will always have this internal struggle with myself. Trying to get me to love me wholly and completely. Sorry for the long post, I just had a lot on my mind tonight I needed to get off. And now here are my most recent measurements for those who are keeping track!


Presurgery
Waist- 51 inches
Hips- 62 1/2 inches
Abdomen- 54 1/2 inches
Bust- 56 inches
Arms- 19 inches
Neck- 17 1/2 inches
Thigh- 34 1/2 inches

One Month PostSurgery
Waist- 47 inches (-4 inches)
Hips- 60 inches (-2 1/2 inches)
Abdomen- 50 inches (-4 1/2 inches)
Bust- 50 inches (-6 inches)
Arms- 18 1/2 inches (-1/2 inch)
Neck- 15 1/2 inches (-2 inches)
Thigh- 30 inches (-4 1/2 inches)

Four Months PostSurgery (inches lost since presurgery)
Waist-40 1/2 inches (-10.5 inches)
Hips- 53 1/2 inches (-9 inches)
Abdomen- 42 3/4 inches (-11.75 inches)
Bust- 45 1/2 inches (-10.5 inches)
Arms- 15 inches (-4 inches)
Neck- 14 1/2 inches (-3 inches)
Thigh- 28 inches (6.5 inches)

Six Months PostSurgery (inches lost since presurgery)
Waist- 39 1/2 inches ( -11.5 inches)
Hips- 49 inches ( -13.5 inches)
Abdomen - 40 inches ( -14.5 inches)
Bust - 44 inches ( -12 inches)
Arms - 13.5 inches ( -5.5 inches)
Neck - 14 inches (-3.5 inches)
Thigh - 25 inches ( -9.5 inches)

I've lost 70 inches total in 6 months! Holy Crow! It's awesome! Well thanks for reading if you made it this far! Love you guys!

4 months and counting!

Well here we are 4 months post op and I can hardly believe it! My offical weight loss is 73 lbs. My current weight is 232 down from 305. I currently am wearing a size 18/20 pants, XL shirts, and a size 7 shoe!!  Here are my previous measurements, and my most recent ones will be down at the bottom of the page. :)


Presurgery
Waist- 51 inches
Hips- 62 1/2 inches
Abdomen- 54 1/2 inches
Bust- 56 inches
Arms- 19 inches
Neck- 17 1/2 inches
Thigh- 34 1/2 inches

One Month PostSurgery
Waist- 47 inches (-4 inches)
Hips- 60 inches (-2 1/2 inches)
Abdomen- 50 inches (-4 1/2 inches)
Bust- 50 inches (-6 inches)
Arms- 18 1/2 inches (-1/2 inch)
Neck- 15 1/2 inches (-2 inches)
Thigh- 30 inches (-4 1/2 inches)

Four Months PostSurgery (inches lost since presurgery)
Waist-40 1/2 inches (-10.5 inches)
Hips- 53 1/2 inches (-9 inches)
Abdomen- 42 3/4 inches (-11.75 inches)
Bust- 45 1/2 inches (-10.5 inches)
Arms- 15 inches (-4 inches)
Neck- 14 1/2 inches (-3 inches)
Thigh- 28 inches (6.5 inches)

So there you have it! I've lost 55 1/4 inches since I've had the surgery, and 73 lbs! I feel amazing, and could not have asked for it to have gone any better. I still have a long way to go, but knowing the progress I have made so far is just overwhelming! Thanks to everyone who is still by my side with support, especially my amazing hubby! I love you and thank you for taking this journey with me!

Sorry for the delay!

Oh wow, what a crazy few months it's been! Sorry it's been a while since I updated. I guess work, and life got the best of me. So here I sit 16 weeks post op. I'm down right at 75 lbs.  I feel amazing! And since the New Year is upon us, I thought I would get my resolutions out there for everyone to see.

1) Run some 5ks. I already have 2 or 3 I'm looking a seriously doing. The first one being in April for the March of Dimes.

2) Become more organized. My house is terrible! I have junk every where that I just don't need. So on my days off I will be organizing each and every room of my house. I think I'm going to start with my kids bedrooms.

3) Be in my Bible more. I honestly don't read it enough.

4) Work out 4-5 times a week for at least an hour at a time...

5) Start a decent savings account. I found a neat little sheet and it's called the 52 week savings plan. Starting with week one, you deposit $1. Week 2 is $2 and so on...So I hope to have a nice little savings by the end of the year.

6) Work on my relationship with my husband. Lets face it who doesn't need to work on that? :)

Well I guess this is about it for now. I will update in a few days with my current weight, and measurements. Right now I need to go unpack from our vacation this last week!

7 weeks, and 41 lbs.

That's right, today is 7 weeks post op and I have lost 41 lbs according to my scale here at home, which is pretty on with the Dr. scale. So much to update since last time. I finally got to go back to work yesterday! It was a pretty good first day back. Of course I was welcomed back with a bang. We had a Code called on one of the patients so we ended up moving them to the unit, but other then that it was a pretty good first day. I got tons of complements on how good I look. I've gotta say I'm not use to that, but it was kinda nice.

Sunday, was our annual BBQ cook off at church. I had so much fun cooking and being with everyone. My team took 1st in Chili and Brisket!! I'm so proud of them. My dad and brother worked really hard on everything they did. I really enjoyed myself even though I wasn't able to gorge myself with food. I'm finally getting the hang of "you don't have to eat to have a good time." Anyway, this morning, I got up and went to the gym. My mom and I went and did a Zumba class. It was awesome. It kicked our butts, but we're gonna go back and do it again and I can't wait!! Woo hoo!!  Well that's all for now, I will try and keep this updated weekly unless I get really busy or something.. Have a great day!

5 weeks an counting!

Wow it's hard to believe I'm already 5 weeks post op!!  I still have a pesky drain. I'm telling you I've had more issues with this one drain than any person should have to deal with. It feel out 2 weeks ago, and Dr. Bell decided to go ahead and put it back in because I was still draining a lot of gunk from my incision. Well at my appointment on Friday, he told me it looked like the suture was trying to pull out of my skin. Well wouldn't you know that it did Sunday night! So I called the office on Monday, and they told me that it should be fine just watch it closely. It hasn't fallen out. I thought I had lost it this morning, but it had gone completely inside my incision. It was right on the top, so I was able to push it back out, but it was kinda creepy... Hopefully I can get it out at my next appointment which isn't until the 29th of October. I was hoping to be back to work by now, but can't go back just yet.

So on a completely different subject, I think the hubby and I have decided to do a big vow renewal ceremony for our 10th wedding anniversary in 2014. We did have a very small vow renewal for our 5th anniversary in our church to say our vows in our house of worship since we got married in Vegas. I loved my wedding in Vegas, it was so much fun.. But there are a bunch of things I missed out on, and not to mention, it was a freaking disaster! The ceremony was like 5 minutes long, there are about 8 pictures of the wedding total. I have no pictures of me with my parents, attendants, siblings, or any of the family that was there. I forgot my flowers and the marriage license in the car, and had to have someone walk all the way out to the car to get them which was parked about as far as it could get from the casino we got married in. The most important thing was that I married the man of my dreams, but it could have been better. So for our 10th we're going to have a big blow out celebration with a vow renewal. I also missed having all of my friends and family there to celebrate with us. So I want them to enjoy a celebration with us. We also are refusing gifts of any kind. That's not what this is about. It's going to be about us celebrating our love with the people we love. We are also going to take our dream honeymoon we never got, because spending an extra 3 days in Vegas hanging out with everyone else, does not a honeymoon make. We are going to go to Hawaii. We enjoyed it so much whenever we went for my sister's wedding we've decided to go back. I've already found the dress I want to wear for our vow renewal.  That's it.  I'm going to have it altered to where it doesn't have a train, but other than that this is what I'm going with. It will be in the Ivory color because I don't need a white dress. And this dress is very inexpensive. I know it doesn't look like it, but it is.

Well I guess that's about it for now.  Until next time....